World Cup Fever

World Cup fever usually presents in four year cycles during the summer months. Symptoms include religiously sitting in front of the TV and shouting at it for up to 7 hours. Some experts believe World Cup fever is also linked to memory loss as very often sufferers will watch several highlights of the games they have already watched live.

Other symptoms that may present are a raging thirst that can only be quenched by cans of cold lager, a constant craving for nibbles, singing for no apparent reason and a philanthropic desire to help referees with their vision. Severe cases can lead to serious delusions of the sufferers' management prowess and violence towards figures of authority in black shorts.

Even a slight case of World Cup fever can lead to “cliché tongue”. This affliction can render the most erudite of orators to talking in phrases such as “it’s a game of two halves” and “the boys done great”. Some also develop a compulsive hygiene disorder and talk incessantly about taking early baths whether it's their bath day or not.

Some people carry a natural immunity whilst others it appears are carriers. Men of all ages are particularly susceptible but increasingly women are also contracting the fever.

Treatment There is no known cure. It can last a whole month but usually subsides after only 10 to 14 days.

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